Cleveland

Carebuzz is happy to announce our April winner of the Caregiver contest! We invite our readers to celebrate our very first caregiver of the month by reading Ava’s story!

Her name is Ava, a single mother of a teen daughter, and the primary caregiver for her grandmother. Ava has been caring for her grandmother for the majority of the past 8 years.

At the beginning, Ava lived almost 2 hours away (via subway) until 4 years ago when her grandmother started developing signs of dementia. At the time, her grandmother had mobility issues, heart disease, and was blind in one eye.

At first Ava was just there to help her go shopping, clean her apartment, prepare her medications with increasing responsibilities. She would travel there every day, often times bringing her young teen age daughter with her. City services could only send an aide 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, and they would not touch grandmother’s medication (3 pills and some vitamins).

Ava had researched other options, and started to organize her grandmother’s apartment of 58 years for a move. One evening it was apparent to Ava that her grandmother could not be left alone any longer. Ava had to take her grandmother home that evening carrying nothing but a few suitcases and a walker. Ava’s daughter and friends stayed with grandmother while Ava took the train back to pack the 2 bedroom apartment herself, and drag things home in a cart. She had a friend provide one ride, and had to hire a moving van to move some of her furniture that was important to grandmother. It took months without any other help.

Ava’s grandmother is living with her now and things are much more difficult for Ava now that her daughter has left for college. Her grandmother’s dementia is less severe most of the time, but her short term memory can be very repetitive. They’ve been to the hospital a few times, her grandmother has fallen twice, changed her pacemaker, and 3 bouts with colitis. This has gravely affected her grandmother’s mobility and incontinence. These elderly events has brought Ava’s caregiving role to a higher level.  Ava cannot leave her grandmother alone at all due to her short term memory, risk of falling, and the risk of eating whatever she sees in the kitchen, has made being alone impossible.

In the past, Ava home schooled her daughter until she was in 7th grade and work part time in the home. When her daughter went to school, Ava continued to work at home and still tries to work as a internet consultant despite her 24/7 caregiving. You can often find her online late at night, in between her grandmothers bathroom visits every 2 hours.

Ava is the Founder of a County wide Recycling group, and a local community group in New York. Her Grandmother was a inspiration to her, as she was also very active in her community.  And today, Ava doesn’t get much sleep!

If you can do anything to help Ava, please contact her on our facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/carebuzz or via her website for busy moms http://www.busy-mom.com or email her at avaontheweb@gmail.com.

Thank you, Ava, for being the caregiver you are today. Carebuzz hopes your story finds people in your community who can help, even if it is for a respite break.

Caregivers can apply the principals found in Steven Covey’s book, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, to caring for aging relatives and empower your role of a family caregiver. Utilize these seven habits as a compass for caregiving stress.

1.    Take a Proactive Approach.  Caring for an elderly parent can be stressful if you fail to plan. By planning ahead and taking initiative, you can avoid the stress that comes with work/life responsibilities. Begin early with conversations with your mom and dad about how they want to live out their lives; home care or community care?

2.    Begin with the End in Mind. Evaluate what’s important to your life, and if family is most important then devote the resources of time, energy and talent to that end. Help your aging parent plan for their future. Many seniors and elders alike, assume they will be able to care for themselves in the future even when they become frail.

3.    Put First Things First. Work with your family on a daily and weekly basis in planning goals, appointments, and obligations. Organize all information as a means to focus and plan the goals. It would be great to have a planning session like this with mom and dad before they become elderly. This will help them ease their fear of being forced out of their home in their later years.

4.    Think Win/Win.  Instead of looking to caring for your kids and elderly parents as a source of stress, approach it with a positive mindset. Your positive attitude will rub off on family members, and in turn, they will feel loved and important. Establish everyone’s roles from the outset so as to make everyone feel a part of the caregiving situation.

5.    Seek First to Understand and then be understood.  Covey teaches the idea of mutual understanding between people, and this can certainly apply with Grandma and children. Be empathetic when they express their differences and concerns. If your child or parent is being ornery towards you, listen to what they are saying, and try and get to the root of the problem.

6.    Synergize.  Come up with creative ways to get all family members involved. Perhaps your teenager can play a board game with Grandma while Mom can make dinner. Or Grandpa can teach a youngster a history lesson that applies towards homework. Make use of everyone’s differences to benefit the family as a whole.

7.    Sharpen the Saw. There’s much to be said for balance, and thus a family caregiver must take strides to take care of his or herself. Be sure to renew yourself in all facets of your life, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and keep on giving.

When applying Covey’s teachings, the family caregiver will find the experience rewarding, creating a feedback loop that makes all family members feel good. Aging parents will feel appreciated and valued when they see that they too, are a part of the care-giving experience.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN THE CAREGIVER OF THE MONTH CONTEST!

NOMINATE CAREGIVER HERE!

THE CAREGIVER CONTEST DRAWING IS TOMORROW, MARCH 31st!!!

You may have already entered the contest– in which case, please rest assured that once you have entered the contest, your name will be “in the hat” indefinitely: you are eligible to win the award each month, and you are automatically entered to win the Kindle. If you’d like to enter a new caregiver to be considered for the contest, please do so by following the instructions below!

Carebuzz knows that being a family caregiver is a thankless role! That’s why we’re celebrating caregivers on our site and providing you the opportunity to nominate someone in your community, family or yourself who exemplifies the definition of a ‘family caregiver’ and to win the honored Caregiver of the Month Award! Each month, we will select a caregiver to be featured on the Carebuzz site, and the winner will receive a special gift to honor the work they do. Each quarter, all names submitted will have a chance to win a free Kindle! That’s right, a Kindle! As we have learned from an AARP report on caregiving, there are over 65 million potential nominations out there in the United States. So, who do you think deserves to be honored?

How it works:

1. Submit a Nominee for the Family Caregiver of the Month Award by sending an email to carol @ carebuzz.com
2. In your email, use the subject line “Caregiver Contest Entry”
3. In 25 words or less tell us why this family caregiver deserves recognition and be sure to include the nominee’s name and email address
4. We will draw a name out of the “hat” to select the featured caregiver on the 1st of each month
5. Enter one time and we will keep your name in the “hat” for each monthly drawing, as well as the quarterly Kindle drawing!

NOMINATE CAREGIVER HERE!

Winner Notification:

We will contact each month’s winner by email to ask for a photo and mailing address so that we can send you your special gift!

When I was a kid, my dad used to stretch out on the sofa after supper. For his job he often drove all over the state, sometimes working long days.  Irregular hours were a part of his life. When he was home he’d often fall asleep during the news, waking when it ended or shortly thereafter.  It became so frequent we lovingly called it his “Nightly News Nap.” He’d catch up on the sleep he might have missed the day before, and awaken refreshed.  Ready to tackle the evening’s activities.

And you know what?

Dad was right.

Research shows that drivers who get less than 6 hours of sleep are 3 times more likely to have a car accident.

One of the recommendations to prevent this is a power nap.

What’s a power nap?

It’s a nap lasting about 20 minutes, usually in the afternoon.

How can power naps reduce caregiver stress?

Research shows power naps . . .

* Increase alertness . . .
* Reduce stress and . . .
* Improve your brain functioning.

Power naps increase your alertness so you can stay on top of everything.

When you’re a caregiver you often have your caregiver responsibilities on top of your regular responsibilities.

And in caregiving it’s important to be alert for subtle changes.

Your loved one may forget to tell you something important.  Or maybe she can no longer tell you she doesn’t feel well, she just loses her appetite or gets more irritable.

Whether you’re keeping track of multiple medications . . .multiple appointments . . .eating habits . . .or all three plus more — you need to be alert.

Power naps also reduce your stress.

Caregiver stress is a major risk of caregiving.

And one cause of increased caregiver stress may be fatigue from being up at night.  Maybe you’re caring for someone who doesn’t sleep well . . .or maybe just wakeful because you’re on alert listening for them.

Studies show that by mid-afternoon it’s normal to need a brief nap.  And if the person you’re caring for is napping or has another person caring for them, it may be the perfect time for you to grab a quick nap.

When you’re tired it’s easier to lose your patience.  And if you’re losing your patience for your family or the one you’re caring for, you may also have guilt for losing your patience.

Which creates a vicious cycle of exhaustion . . .anger . . .and guilt. All of which added together increase your caregiver stress.

And power naps can decrease stress helping you break that cycle.

Power naps can improve your brain functioning.

When you’re thinking clearly you can make better decisions . . .including knowing when to seek help.

Plus it’s easier to keep on top of your responsibilities . . .finances . . .and everything you need to do.

When you’re feeling stressed and tired from lack of sleep at night, maybe a power nap is your solution.

Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed?

Click on this link to see how to easily and quickly Overcome the 3 Deadly Mistakes That Cause Stress, Overwhelm and Burnout.

Source: CaregivingwithPurpose.com

Keep knitting to your heart’s delight — or someone else’s,

Dr. Ina

Ina Gilmore M.D. (ret.)

“The Knitting Dr.”

Ambassador of Elder Care, HowToLiveOnPurpose.com

Founder, CaregivingWithPurpose.com and TheKnittingYarn.com